10 Signs You are Dating a Narcissist and How not to lose your self worth

Hi guys! Happy Friday. How has your week been so far?

Last year I started with some dating stories that I shared - and while I still have a few stories to tell - I recent;y came out of a bad break-up with an extremely narcissistic guy - and I was feeling defeated and like the worst person in the world - even though I got a promotion at work, and I accomplished a few things -  this person made me feel completely worthless and like I was the problem and not good enough. Even though I could keep a job and be successful. I know he was jealous that my career was thriving and he wasn't.  I believed I wasn't just worth it for the longest time, so I must be the problem - never realizing I wasn't seeing my self worth in the process. Is this post to throw shade at him? No, not at all. But let's be real sometimes we get blinded by the love we forget to value ourselves. 

So here are some top 10 signs you are dating a narcissist :

1.  They were charming at first - but don't be fooled - this is to win you over and get you into their trap.
2.  They always hog conversations about them - they will rarely ask how YOUR day was ... and when you tend to talk about your day - they will always move the conversation back to them.
3. They feed off your compliments - they will always fish for them or need you to tell them how much you love them - but they will never return the favour.
4. They lack empathy - this was one of the standout signs for me. I would have an extremely rough day and his reply would be - okay he is busy playing games / cutting grass/driving he can't reply now. And then he never replies. Or cares. His day would always be rougher and worse than mine no matter what. 
5. They don't have many long-term (if any friends) - This was true too. He hardly had any friends and his mom/sister and family were his only friends.
6. They pick on you constantly - He was ALWAYS giving me grief about me not making enough time to spend with him - yet he would ignore me for weeks straight. Like REALLY ???
7. They gaslight you - They will always tell you you aren't the person you used to be anymore ... or complain about how you are too sensitive. I heard a million times that I'm too sensitive. 
8. They dance around defining the relationship - This was another true one. He hardly would acknowledge that I was his girlfriend in public or act like a boyfriend most times and treat me like a friend in public. 
9. They never truly apologise and mean it - he would only say sorry after a big freak out. But never mean it. Sorry was more of a means of let's move on and drop this discussion, please.
10. They panic when you try to break up with them - This was another true one. When I finally broke it off he promised me the world and promised to change a million times. I just had enough and blocked him on all social media platforms and communication.

So how did I realize my self-worth -

One thing I realized was that I needed to put myself and my own needs first - which I never did. If he needed someone to listen to I dropped EVERYTHING to be there for him. But when I needed 2% support that was too much effort. I realize I'm worth someone's love and FULL attention - someone willing to show me how special I really am without me begging them to love me. Do I know I deserve this? Of course. Does it hurt like hell? Again yes. It sucks as I really really loved him and I wanted to marry this specific guy - but in the end - loving myself was the first step I needed to take in re-discovering my amazing worth. Will I come out shining? Of course. I always do. And I will show mister Perfectly Fine that he came to his senses wayyy too late. In the meantime, this will include a lot of murder mysteries, snacks and coffee and sheet masks to keep me company until I'm 100% myself again.

How do you get over a bad break-up?